Loser of the Year by Carrie Byrd

Loser of the Year by Carrie Byrd

Author:Carrie Byrd
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ylva-Publishing
Published: 2024-05-15T19:17:10+00:00


Chapter 16

While they waited for the bus driver to pull up in front of the hotel, their students occupied with final selfies and videos, Jillian announced that she’d be sitting in the back on the way home.

“If I’m there, they’ll keep the noise down to a decibel that won’t cause inner ear damage,” she said, standing side by side with Mattie. “You sit up front and cover that section.”

Mattie nodded fervently as if that logic made perfect sense.

It didn’t, of course. They both knew the real reason why they had to sit separately. Even on the sidewalk, with the kids milling all around them, Jillian’s arm kept brushing Mattie’s, as though she couldn’t stop herself from making contact one more time before the long ride home.

Mattie closed her eyes, just for a moment, and pretended she could feel Jillian’s warm skin rubbing against hers through the thick layers of their clothes.

How long until she could feel it bare again? Would she have to wait two days, three, four before they fell back into each other, unable to control it in the same way you couldn’t control your next breath?

God, she hoped not. Despite the few hours of sleep they’d gotten last night, every part of Mattie was alive now, woken up by touch. Even the cold air felt fresher than it had yesterday, the noise of the city more electric, the faces of pedestrians less strained.

Yes. Mattie tried not to let her arm brush back against Jillian’s. Sitting separately is a very, very good idea.

Last night’s revelations were just as astounding in the light of day. Mattie was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that her college one-night stand had been Jillian Reed. That strange, tall girl with the cropped hair, the one who’d never shared her name or number, was the same person next to Mattie right now, touching her even when she shouldn’t.

No matter how intently Mattie combed through her memory for more specifics, their hookup was still blurry, save for a few sharp particulars that managed to stick out through the long years like stubborn weeds. The slightly musty smell of the spare bedroom, as though it hadn’t been used in ages. How Jillian had cried out when Mattie sucked her earlobe. That little mole above Jillian’s belly button. Jillian’s fingers digging into Mattie’s scalp.

Mattie tried to remember more. Tried and tried. She couldn’t.

That didn’t mean it hadn’t mattered to her. In fact, she’d stored that night in a corner of her brain as proof she could experience attraction intense enough to rule her. With just about all her relationships, Mattie had felt a solid sexual connection. But that night, that girl—Jillian—had shown her more was possible. Mattie knew she was capable of need so immense that denying the pull would be like denying the heat of the sun.

Some things had changed in eighteen years. Jillian’s hair. Their professional goals. Jillian’s religious convictions, possibly.

Other things hadn’t.

“I’m exhausted,” Mattie blurted out. It felt like a normal comment to make after chaperoning a field trip even if her brain buzzed with adrenaline.



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